Redeemer
by Webdemon
Summary: A look into the diary of Tsukune Aono...After he left Youkai Academy...Though you make sure you want to look...Cause It might just get to you if you look at it right. Ode to redeemer from Queen of the damned OST!


**My redeemer**

This will be my first RxV fic since......Ever...I figured I give it a shot since I have seen some good ones (Both reg and Xovers) So I figured I give this a try. Here it is...Without further adieu....An ode to The queen of the damned.

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When she bit me...I felt it. Her power, Her strength, The way she flowed through me, I felt like I was on fire, Like a flame had all but consumed me. The blood she gave me now flows through my veins. The absolute power she had so willingly bestowed upon me. The life force that has now given my power. The energy that give me strength over any obstacle. She said when she came to my room that she was the one who chose me. She chose me merely upon a whim, Merely upon her own will. She could have gotten anyone else but she took me of all people. She had given me something to which she calls more than her pact. But a way to bind me to her, A way to tether me to herself, Like I was her plaything. But to me it felt like something else.

_**The hunger inside given to me,  
Makes me what I am.  
Always it is calling me,  
For the blood of man.**_

She took me out to see the world, The world through her eyes. The world she saw, Was cold,dark and shallow. The mere existence of what she now calls "dinner" were idly walking as if we were never there. To be able to hide from their eyes. The eyes of which were once mine, But now she has given me new insight, The insight of life through the eyes of her people....her kind. The way they had to live. But she wanted to escape from that. To be able to walk freely walk among them but not alone. That is the reason she sought me out..So that she was able to tell her side of the story to someone who knew about them but knew nothing of what was lying within the shadows. Shadows..heh...I make it sound so dark. In reality we had know each other since school. I went to a normal school..But when I wanted to take some exams for a high school I ended up at an academy for monsters...And by the time we graduated..My friends were going there separate ways..with the exception of Kurumu and Mizore. Yukari had to go attend a college for witches and mages. She told me when she was done that she would visit me and her and even though I'm embarrassed to say it, She said she would try to sleep with me and Moka...She's a weird girl, Weird but nice, But they did not know that the time we spent together would change the day she took me in, yes...the sweet release of death...or rather the death of my body. She told me that even though the ghoul inside me still lurks..The blood she had introduced was more of a pure blood. Then she took me around..And then it happened.

**_They say I cannot be this,  
I am jaded.  
Hiding from the day,  
I can't bare it,  
Cannot tame the hunger in me_**

Yeah...It happened...I felt an urge..A strange urge. She told me to follow her to a passage to a park. There I saw two people, A man and a woman. They looked like lovers. I turned to Moka and she told her interpretation. "You know. I kind of wished that was me like that. To be able to love. But living this long boy you learn that love is nothing but God's way of fucking with your heart. So real and so tangible, Yet so far out of reach. If ever was a time I had known that feeling..It was when we were back at the academy..But this time...I'm not letting it go...Listen good my dear. That picture there you see now is something that will never be attainable for those two again. Mortals only enjoy moments like this so rarely." I turn to look at her as she had those eyes. I remember those eyes from times past, She was hungry. She then looked at me and spoke to me ever so softly. "Tell me..Do you still have that urge." I nodded in approval, Indeed I had it. She then took my hand and...I did it.

_**Oh, I say I did it,  
Always searching,  
You can't fuck with fate.  
So instead you'll taste my pain.**_

She held down the man while I had the woman. They were screaming "let us go let us go please." She bend his neck and gave it a good lick. She bit down at him, The girl screaming to get Moka to stop. She had bit him hard and held him for a good twelve seconds. He hit the floor and laid there. She was crying while I held her tight, Moka turned to me and then smiled "your turn...But be careful not to drain her completely." She then begged me not to do it but I could not resist. She smelled so good, I bit her as well. I began to suck on the blood coming from her, It felt like Moka was biting me again but I could not stop myself. When I dropped her she fell like a ton of bricks. I ran my hand across my lips and saw the blood I had taken...But what little humanity I had realized I had just done. I took the life of a person...Not just me...but two people who were just out for a date. She took my cheek in her hand and had me look at her. "So....did you like her taste." I backed away a bit and looked her for a minute. I put my hand on my head and was filled with a sense to guilt. "....I...just killed her."

**_The hunger inside given to me,  
Makes me feel alive.  
Always out stalking prey,  
In the dark I hide.  
Feeling, falling, hating,  
Feel like I am fading, hating life._**

"Yes...and what of it." I then turned to her and was outraged. "..What do you mean what of it? Fuck man...Shit.....Man what am I gonna do?" She walked over to me and held my hand. "..Dear...these are humans..Nothing more and nothing less..They are not you anymore, Let go of any human guilt you have within you and let your immortality embrace you."....She was right...I'm one of them now..One of those who slip in through the shadows. I came to my senses and then let it soak in."...Your right...I wanted this...Sorry..but this is the first time I committed murder." She shook her head "It's not murder...It's balance..we are doing that we were brought on this earth to do..Let these humans know that they are not above all life." We walked past their bodies but I did not want to leave them there. I looked back and saw what we had just done....I had mentally prepared for the physical aspect of it...But not prepared for the aftermath. "...Moka...if we ever do this again....and I know we will...We should at least give them redemption."

"Tsukune....You still don't understand...You already have...Death is the only redemption we give to them. But nothing we will ever know again..Remember...we are both gifted....and cursed." I looked at them and saw the lifelessness in their eyes...I knew full well that that was never going to come to pass to me. We walked away.....And I never wanted to see that again...In fact I hated it

**_They say I cannot be this,  
I am jaded.  
Hiding from the day.  
I can't bare it,  
I cannot tame the hunger in me..._**

**_Oh, I say I did it  
Always searching,  
You can't fuck with fate.  
So instead you'll taste my pain._**

It's been three weeks since I was bitten. Man...Is this what eternity feels like? Doesn't change much from when I was still human.I sometimes find myself retelling small tales to the walls of my the time when I was walking down a path with Moka when I ran into Kokoa. As usual she ran to Moka first. She then looked at me with some disdain. It's better then her trying to kill me, She had recognized me as a so called brother but still won't let me "have" her big sister. She was as clingy as ever. But I felt that we were connected more friendly now. One sigh of this was when she offered to show me how to hunt in the dark. She wanted to show me that the trick to stalking was in the way you use the darkness as an extension of yourself. It was like using a weapon. Of course I didn't get it the first few times. She was hitting me with her bat hammer thing till I got it right. When I did she just gave a good well done pat. She left me back at my house where I live alone now. Before she left me she told me that if I was more of a real immortal I'd more ideal for her big sister. In a way she practically gave me kind of a praise. But She was right..When I fed I felt guilty for those people I killed...I felt so bad...I hated myself for it. Sometimes I'd find myself blaming Moka and her kind for forcing to live this lifestyle. Then I thought about the day I was chosen...I brought this on myself. I did this to me, I did this.

**_You say your life I'm taking,  
Always bothering me.  
I can't take this anymore,  
I'm failing, always smothering me_**

**_You look down on me,  
Hey what you see,  
Take this gift from me.  
You will soon feed from me._**

Kurumu came by to visit me one time when I was alone. She was still on about us being fated to be together. Even the fact that I was an immortal now did not turn her away. She was always have herself on my lap and wrap her arms around me. She would whisper in my ear about how Moka was no competition to her, That she had already lost the war over me. She and I had our moments though. I didn't want to say this but I may as well say it. We did kiss...a lot. We were almost to a point after we graduated we almost did it...You know...The deed. I stopped though..I told her that I can't keep this charade up any longer. Even though I was not spoken for I had feelings with Moka..I left her alone at a park. The day after though she grabbed my hand and took me back to the park where we were before. She had me against the tree and kissed me..She then started to keep getting bolder and bolder. I again stopped her but she was not having any of it. Next thing you know she half naked as well as I. She did not use a charm to seduce me..No...She was trying her best without it...She almost had me when she looked at my eyes. She then picked me up and spoke "...You do love her....Don't you?"..I nodded my head..She then smiled. "...But yet....you didn't stop me from trying to have you...That got me wondering......Maybe I think you love me too....Tsukune......I was not wrong to choose you...My fated one....." she kissed me yet again. "......you know just because you love her doesn't mean it would deter me from you....You know that if the wife fails her duty...There's always the hand of the mistress."....Those words haunted me when I got out by myself...Whenever I felt the hunger come up..Kurumu had even seduced a meal for me once..But something was still eating away at me when I fed on a human. I told Kurumu about the guilt I felt when I feed. She said the same thing Moka and Kokoa told me...That this is what they do...Mizore even said the same thing...But I still hated the fact I had to kill to survive. Yeah yeah I know I'm kind of a loser for having to be like this but I'd like to see you kill an innocent man....But after a long time...It gets old...The feeling is now is nothing to me...If anything it's now boring.....Tell ya what. After about 900 years...Nothing surprises me anymore..

_**Nothing seems exciting,  
Always the same hiding**_

_**It's haunting me.**_

If there's anything Moka and the others have taught me..it's this...There is no way for my redemption to come...Cause I'm damned...And I have never been so regretful and appreciative of it.

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Well...Here it is...Love..hate it...your choice.....Have fun with it though. Oh yeah...I plan to make a alternate retelling of the Foxes and dragons story...This time The characters and plot will be slightly modified.


End file.
